Poker Night
by Her Royal Goddess
Summary: Cards, alcohol, poker chips and as lift, just a normal Friday night at Hogwarts.


_Poker Night._

**__****Disclaimer: I own nothing except my warped mind (I probably don't even own that considering how often those sneaky and elusive creatures commonly known as plot bunnies hijack it.)**

_**Okay my lovely readers this little one-shot is dedicated to all the lovely ladies on a certain page especially to T. Happy birthday sorry it's late Xx**_

Our story happens on a Friday evening and but not just any ordinary Friday evening, it was the last Friday of the month which as every Hogwarts Professor past and present knows meant poker night in the staff room.

Hermione Granger hummed a little tune as she set up the card table with little bowls of nuts and made sure that the beer was sufficiently cold enough to please the Lord of all snarkiness Severus Snape, in the years that she'd been working at Hogwarts as the Muggle studies teacher she had slowly grown fond of the Potions teacher and his sarcastic wit.

Poker was a great way for the teachers to relieve stress and either supplement their income or for a way of Minerva to find 'volunteers' for the Hogsmeade trips, this was also why students never saw Professor Snape in Hogsmeade. His skill at the game was legendary and at her first poker night nearly every single teacher told Hermione to watch out for him.

"He's harder to read than a block of Scottish granite"

"The only thing sharper than his tongue at the table is his skill at cards"

"He's a dirty cheating Slytherin, but don't tell him I said that."

Over the years Hermione had discovered that her favourite place to sit was opposite Severus at the card table, apart from the fact that she sat nearest the fire (because it was bloody cold in the castle in winter and nearly every other day in the year apart from that one week when it gets unbearably hot making the castle like a furnace, all heat and no air.) it was also the seat that allowed her to study him without being too obvious.

She'd first started watching him in an attempt to understand why he was such an arsehole to everyone. Hermione put her observations to good use and finally wormed her way past his barriers and into the small elite group of people that Severus called a friend. It had only taken one cold winters evening patrolling the corridors together on valentines night separating horny young teens, a bottle of Firewhisky to try and rid themselves of the horrifying image that had confronted them in the library (even now the subject was still taboo) and the full story of what actually happened to Delores Umbridge in the forest. It was also the first time she saw him cry with laughter.

The staffroom seemed to fill with noise as the rest of the faculty piled in the room and took their usual places at the table.

"Those snacks look delicious Hermione, I hope it wasn't too much trouble setting all this up." Minerva said as she switched the cheesy puffs that were next to her for the bowl of onion rings near to Poppy.

"Not at all Minerva, I enjoyed it actually" Hermione replied as she magically popped the cap on her beer bottle.

She had no sooner taken a swig of the ice cold liquid when the bottle was plucked out of her hands by a smirking potions professor.

"Ah yes the subtle art of being a domestic goddess, I never realised you had such hidden talents Hermione" Severus gave her a satisfied smirk as he raised the bottle to his lips.

Hermione rolled her eyes at him and opened another bottle for herself "Do sit down Severus you're making the place look untidy and yes, before you start harassing everybody we all know the chilli crispy coated peanuts are yours."

"Right before you two start trading cheap insults with one another, it's time to ante up" Minerva adjusted her green visor and shuffled a well worn dog eared pack of cards, she began dealing two cards to each player. "Big blind is two knuts, small is one. Play goes clockwise from dealer. Potter will you put that disgusting cigar out, honestly I don't know why you smoke such filthy disgusting things."

A guilty looking Harry Potter, best friend to Hermione and Hogwarts flying instructor (in that order) reluctantly got rid of his expensive hand rolled cigar by throwing it out of the open staffroom window into the small private courtyard that was known only to the staff. Harry took his place next to Hermione, picked up his cards and tutted at his hand with disgust before discarding them back onto the table.

The game dragged on well into wee small hours of the morning until the only people awake and interested were the two people left in the game. Hermione and Harry who had dropped out of the game earlier were finishing their fourth bottle of elven wine had started betting between them on the outcome of what looked to be the final hand.

"Of course he's going to beat Pomona he's the major stack winner" Hermione aimed the empty bottle at the bin and was about to lob it across the room when Severus reached across the table and grabbed it out of her hand. "Hey! That was going to land in the bin you know" She whined pouting at him.

Severus gave her a dark look over his cards "You Miss Granger are what could only be described as pissed as a newt, I have more chance of becoming the wizarding world's next pin up than of you actually getting this in the bin." Hermione responded to this the only way she knew how and stuck her tongue out at him. "Real mature Hermione, keep sticking it out and see what happens" he warned her.

"Are you playing this game or are you just procrastinating because you know I'm going to wipe the floor with you potions boy?" Pomona Sprout pushed her medium size pile of coins into the middle of the table "Show em or fold em" She said smugly laying her cards down on the table to reveal a full house, Jacks over nines.

With a superior smirk playing on his lips he leaned forward and placed his cards on the table one by one. Two of clubs...Two of diamonds...Two of hearts...Queen of clubs and finally the Two of spades "So close Pomona but no cigar this time." Severus tapped the large pile of money with his wand and vanished it to his money pouch.

Now that the game had finished Hermione and Harry stumbled past the table to make their way to bed "Well done Sev you've just won me breakfast in bed" Hermione said with a slight slur, not looking where she was going she tripped over a small foot stool dragging Harry down with her "Whoops" She began giggling like mad as Harry tried but failed to get up

Exchanging a look of part exasperation and humour with Severus, Pomona reached down and grabbed Harry under his armpits and hoisted him up "Upsadaisy Potter. Make sure Hermione gets back to her rooms Severus, she's in no fit state to use the floo."

"What am I, a bloody maid service?" he grumbled holding out his hand to help her up, as soon as he felt her slender fingers close round his larger ones he pulled her to her feet "Come along Granger I haven't got all night."

"I'm sure I've asked this before but why the fuck have you got a lift going up to your rooms?" he jabbed a button on the side of the wall repeatedly trying to make it go faster and despite the fact Hermione was leaning on Severus to keep her balance, she was still unsteady on her feet so he kept his arm wrapped tight around her waist.

"When I signed up to teach Mcgonagal gave me the choice of having my classroom and living quarters up in the south-east tower or above the music rooms in the west wing, I chose the tower and as I'm the muggle studies teacher I thought it was a brilliant idea for the pupils to reach my classroom via a lift, it's been a great success and the children love it. Why don't you like it?"

Severus chose not to answer and breathed a small sigh of relief when the door slid open...

To reveal a stone wall.

"Mmmm you smell nice" Hermione said randomly, her voice muffled as she tried to bury her head deeper into his chest.

Severus took out his wand and cast a locomotor spell in the hopes of getting the lift moving...Nothing happened...he tried every spell he could think of and still nothing. He took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose in an effort to lower his increasing frustration at his current predicament.

"Hermione you can't go to sleep yet"

Hermione lifted her head and blinked at him with bleary unfocused eyes.

"How are we supposed to get this infernal contraption working again if someone has put a block on all fucking magic in here?"

"We don't, the controls can only be accessed from the top or bottom floor's security panel. S'not a problem Harry will be along in the morning with breakfast."

"Well isn't that just peachy, saviour Potter to the rescue again" Severus muttered to himself sarcastically, he was just about to ask what she proposed to do for the next God knows how many hours when a gentle snoring stopped him in his tracks.

"Oh for the love of.." Severus couldn't believe his luck not only was he stuck in a small closed compartment with Hermione Granger who was pissed as a fart but she'd passed out asleep cuddled into him. Quickly going through his options of what to do next he decided it would probably be easier on both of them if they were both on the floor for the next few hours, so hooking an arm under Hermione's legs he cradled her in his arms close to his chest and slid down the wall. Severus managed to take off his black fine woollen jumper, place it folded up on the floor and with some gentle manoeuvring Hermione was curled up next to him burrowing her face in to the soft material.

Because the lift expanded magically depending on how many people were in the lift, it meant that right now the lift was extremely small, Severus reviewed his options he could either stay sitting up and stretch his long legs or he could lie down and curl up next to Hermione. He chose to stay sitting up because the other option was the road to madness as far as he was concerned.

Being a light sleeper Severus jolted awake when the sounds of moaning filtered through to his consciousness. He checked to see if Hermione was okay but his companion was still dead to the world, figuring he was hearing things Severus was just about to close his eyes when Hermione moaned again in her sleep.

He was half tempted just to wake her up when her moaning was accompanied with half whispered breathy words.

"Ohhh, mmm"

It was only when she began rocking her hips ever so slightly that he realised she was dreaming.

_Well here's a sticky conundrum for you Severus old boy, do we respect her privacy and leave her be or do we utilise our rather excellent Legilimens skills and take a peek at what Hogwarts golden girl is dreaming about?_ Severus shook his head he'd only been stuck in here for a couple of hours and already he was losing his mind and talking to himself in a funny voice.

He made his choice knowing that he'd never get another chance like this and that if he didn't dip into Hermione's dream then he'd constantly regret it. Severus smoothed an errant curl off her cheek and reached out with his mind to connect with hers, What he saw was certainly one of the last things he expected to see.

Hermione Granger was dreaming about him and not just any kind of dream, it was downright filthy. Inside her dream Severus found himself in the middle of the staff room watching a naked Hermione sink to her knees in front of his equally naked doppelgänger.

Severus checked the dream version of himself out, apart from missing the jagged scar on his left hip and a slight over estimation on his cock size she'd not done a bad job. He turned his gaze to the kneeling witch and did something that he very rarely allowed himself the liberty to do and that was to check out her shapely derrière.

Some wizards were breast men, some wizards were leg men and some men were both but Severus Snape had a thing for nicely rounded bottoms and the way Hermione's filled out those tight jeans that she often wore at the schools quidditch matches...He could feel his dick stir to life as he watched Hermione's soft pink lips slide up and down his dreamself's shaft, her slender fingers fondled his balls while she swirled her tongue around the head.

Severus was a man in conflict, his conscience was telling him to break the connection to her mind and his inner Slytherin was saying fuck it, you're already going to hell in a hand basket so why waste such a golden opportunity by being noble. Severus quickly made the decision to stay as he watched Hermione leave a trail of little kisses over dream Severus's torso paying particular attention to his nipples, she placed little kisses on his neck and nibbled at his jaw line. The potions master found himself amused at the thought that even in her own dream Hermione had to stand on her tiptoes so that she was tall enough to reach up and capture his lips in a rough demanding kiss.

Just as he was wishing for his dream-self to man up and take control of the situation by kissing her back till her knees were week and her head spun from lack of oxygen, Hermione broke off the kiss, turned to the nearby poker table (Which if Severus was honest he hadn't even noticed that the table was fully set up with playing cards and poker chips.) and using a sweeping gesture with her arm she wandlessly swept the table contents onto the floor.

Spreading her legs far enough apart so that Severus could her juices glistening on her nether lips and thighs Hermione leant over the table resting her weight on her forearms, the brazen witch looked over her shoulder and told him to fuck her hard. Severus couldn't remember seeing a sexier sight than the one right in front of him, the angle of his view meant he was in perfect position to watch his dream counterpart ease himself slowly into her wet hot core, his large potioneers hands holding her hips firmly as he began fucking her.

While Severus was enjoying the show immensely he couldn't help but think that if this was real life he would have one hand entwined in her gloriously wild hair and his other hand would be alternating between smacking that perfect peachy bottom and keeping her in place as he fucked her harder and faster. As dream Severus and Hermione continued on towards their mutual goal regardless of what he desired Severus could feel Hermione's awareness of the dream fading which meant that it was necessary for him to release the mental link, slipping softly out of her dream he was gratified to see his dream-self drive them both to a loud and sweaty completion the duo collapsing with satisfaction onto the poker table just as the link faded.

Severus lent his head back against the smooth wall breathing heavily and trying to ignore the fact that his dick was rock hard and demanding attention, as he was adjusting his trousers in a futile attempt to find relief the slumbering witch beside him grunted and rolled over onto her stomach, her limbs sprawling inelegantly across the floor and had begun snoring rather loudly.

_Well that's just charming, the witch fucks me senseless in a dream and she can't even be bothered to snuggle._ He snorted at his own twisted sense of humour.

Ten long minutes later found Severus stifling a groan of frustration, his dick was as hard as ever, he tried all of his usual techniques to deflate his boner, not even the thought of Argus Filch in a studded black leather thong did anything other than make him nauseous, there was only one other option available to him at this most pressing moment in time the only question was, could he whip one off while the cause of his troubles lay snoring next to him.

Severus decided to throw all caution to the wind, he figured if he took care of his problem quickly and quietly while Hermione was still comatose it would be a lot less embarrassing than if she woke up to find him sporting a hard on. Undoing the flap on his trousers Severus inhaled slightly as he pulled his dick out into the cool air. After a quick check to make sure that Hermione was still fully asleep he wrapped his long fingers around his shaft and began to move his hand up and down at smooth fast pace.

Aware of the need to make this quick he slipped his other hand into his pants so he could play with his balls, Severus closed his eyes replaying Hermione's dream

as a visual aid, increasing his speed he could feel that he was close to the edge, adding a couple of extra twist to his movements Severus came with a soft grunt capturing most of his seed in his hand with a few spots landing on his boxers, he took a few moments to savour the post ejaculation bliss when everything was okay with the world, sending a silent prayer of thanks to Lucius Malfoy for his constant nagging while they were teenagers that a true gentleman always carries a handkerchief regardless of his station in life Severus was able to clean up and tuck himself away without any visible knowledge of his actions.

Severus jolted awake as the lift began moving downwards, hoping that it was Potter waiting for them at the bottom and not another teacher or God forbid a student he shook Hermione's shoulder hard.

"Hermione wake up the lift's moving again, we can finally get out of this infernal contraption." He wondered perversely whether Hermione would remember her dream.

Hermione Granger rolled over onto her back and stared into the mildly amused face of the Potions master.

"Good morning sleeping beauty I trust you slept well?"

Hermione blushed furiously and scrambled to her feet "Oh God I'm so sorry I passed out Severus, what ever must you think of me? I didn't talk in my sleep did I?"

Severus smirked "I don't remember you talking as such but you certainly moaned a lot, that must have been some interesting dream you having."

"I...I...I don't remember" she stammered fanning her flaming cheeks.

The doors pinged open to reveal a dishevelled Harry Potter holding a plate of bacon sandwiches, he looked surprised to see the pair of them inside the lift. He raised an eyebrow and grinned lasciviously at them.

"I swear Potter I hear one ridiculous word out of your mouth and you'll find that your entire broomstick collection covered with strongest itching potion I have in my stores." Severus glared at Harry.

"Thank you Severus for assisting me back to my rooms, I apologise profusely for any hardships you've suffered in my presence and if there's anyway I can make it up you please just let me know." Hermione blushed further as she handed Severus back his jumper.

As he pulled the jumper over his head Severus couldn't help noticing that the scent of her perfume lingered on the fabric nor the way his dick reacted to the smell, nodding curtly to them both Severus left swiftly the lift quickly, his mind churning with ideas on how to make Hermione's dream a reality.

Hermione sagged against the lift wall laughing weakly.

"Well aren't you going to tell me what happened?" questioned Harry looking at Hermione as if she'd grown an extra head.

"Don't ask Harry, just don't ask." she replied hitting the button on the side of the wall.

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this, and there will be updates to all my other stories soon.

Lots of love

Her Royal GoddessXx


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